What does a bat, an axolotl, a gecko and a pangolin have in common? Correct! You can stuff all of them into a cannon, light a dozen sticks of dynamite, and then blast them straight into a tornado. They also happen to be the main characters in Windblown - a roguelite that's so fast-paced your fingers are at risk of falling off, and one with so many unique items it actually lets you ban dozens of them just so you can see them all.

Combine that with an absolutely insane world, and you've got yourself a game with some serious Dead Cells vibes - which isn't too surprising since it comes from the same team! And in true Dead Cells fashion, Windblown wastes absolutely no time before throwing you a pair of laser-hands and sending you to crash a New Year's party run by pirates - that is rats, who are also pirates.

But you don't have to laser a bunch of animals if that's not your thing. You can also stab them with pointy sticks, crush them with gigantic swords, set them on fire, cover them in gloop, or if you're feeling a bit spicy, even just eat them!

Video version of this review (~12 minutes)

The many ways to smash robots

That's the fun thing with Windblown. It's not just content with kicking your teeth in - it wants you to bite back, and it gives you the tools to do exactly that. All of which seem to work quite well - either that, or I'm an absolute god at this game. Yeah, nope, they're definitely balanced - even if some do require a bit of investment before they let you go full Sonic the Hedgehog.

Ranged weapons are much safer as you can fight robots made specifically to fist people without entering their fistin' range. While melee builds compensate for their flattened faces by being better suited to using alterattacks. These are finishers you can fire off after completing a combo, and besides being flashy enough to make you feel like Dante from Devil May Cry, they also make you invincible for a short duration.

So if you're up close and personal, you can use this to strategically face-tank every big hit the enemies throw at you, but without actually taking any damage. The timing is tight, but once you get into the groove it's one hell of a power trip. A likely to be short-lived one though, because Windblown likes to remind you who's really in charge.

Even the very first difficulty will brutalize you if you don't give the enemies the respect they deserve, even if they are obese hamsters using a plate as a shield. But like I said, Windblown is not unfair. Every single attack is avoidable - even the really nasty ones where the enemies puke lava all across the entire arena.

The elite enemies are tough, yet never unfair

Windblown shines when all of these elements stack together to create fights that are partially a graceful dance of dodging and parrying, and partially panicked flailing as you desperately try to prevent yourself from fumbling a run at the very last minute. And then you enter a boss arena and things get even trickier.

They're just as fair as the rest of the enemies, but they are far more relentless and will rarely give you a moment to breathe. As I've learned through experience, it's very easy to get launched into the sky Team Rocket style by fumbling your dodges, but at the same time, doing everything perfectly will let you eat them up like they're the first slice of cake you've seen in years. And you know what? I really respect that... not the gluttony, but the rules being equal for everyone.

Roleplaying Neo from the Matrix and ducking and weaving through each battle really is exhilarating, but it's also exhausting - both physically and mentally. You have to be at the top of your game for 30-40 minutes straight on higher difficulties, so by the time you're done it's going to feel like you've been through a war. Now maybe I'm just a noodle-fingered weenie, but mashing X like an industrial jackhammer in order to keep up with the insane attack speed bonuses really started to wear on me after a while.

Somewhere in this maelstrom of chaos I'm mashing X like crazy

What is even happening?

On the other hand, the insanity of Windblown's world never got old for me. You'd think being launched out of a cannon straight into a world-spanning tornado would be the strangest thing about the game, but nope - there's an entire world of plushy monstrosities floating somewhere out there. Are they alive? I... think so? Does that make it better or worse when I start jumping on their heads?

But surely the characters are much easier to understand, right? Yeah... about that. One of them is a doctor that has an obsession with collecting corpses. I guess everyone needs a hobby in the apocalypse. Another is actually dead and buried, yet somehow is still hanging around. And then there's Pietro, the weird pervert parrot. His rescue plan involves you knocking him unconscious so his rescue fish - don't question it - can realize he's in trouble and get him to safety. Sort of like a fantasy version of Cyberpunk's Trauma Team.

So it's a bit cartoony, but what's the problem? Well, later on you rescue a kid character. And do you need to wallop her as well? Of course not. You just use your rescue fish that you apparently had stuffed down your pants and off she goes. Which means that there was never any reason to knock out Pietro - you just did it for his sick, sick pleasure.

I'm onto you Pietro!

A strange new world

Besides kink-shaming birds, Windblown also lets you explore unique and pretty worlds that thankfully ditch the standard grass world -> desert world -> ice world -> dessert world template. Instead you can visit the sad robot factory, the overgrown ruins of something that looks like a glitchy copy of your own base, and even the mushroom kingdom - although one that hasn't had a plumber visit in quite a few years.

What I really, really, really like is that each zone is absolutely packed with secrets. Some of them are so deviously well hidden there will be secrets hidden within other secrets, hidden within other secrets. And you even get some pretty good rewards for hunting them down, so my gremlin-like obsession with exploration was well rewarded here.

Still, I'd love to see more map variety in future updates. Because after splattering myself against every rock in search of secrets, I've reached the point where I can instantly recognize which premade 'blocks' each zone is made up from. But since Windblown is still in Early Access, this is likely one of those problems that will fade away in due time.

What I hope doesn't change is the music, because it's just as strange as everything else. It's a bizarre blend of chill and ethereal ambiance, somewhat pop-ish undertones, and even a surprising amount of vocals. But not actual vocals you can understand. More like Smells Like Teen Spirit where you can sort of, kinda, vaguely get an idea of what they're saying, but also not really. Either way, it fits perfectly with Winblown's world and it's a great soundscape to wrestle tentacles to at 2AM!

A single tentacle is somehow more concerning than an entire monster

The road to godhood

And if you're like me, you're frequently going to hit 2AM because Windblown does a great job of making each run feel distinct and exciting enough that you just have to queue up another. There's an absurd amount of upgrades to be found - everything from boring damage buffs to pure insanity like turning into Sonic and exploding into coins every time you get hit.

Then there are the trinkets, which can let you throw bombs at enemies, burn them with lasers, or just summon a giant fish that gobbles them up so you can punch them through its stomach. Did I mention Windblown is a weird game? Each trinket can also get a variety of different effects that completely change how it plays - like the goo bomb which can eventually cover the whole screen and basically become an "I WIN" button. And that's the fun thing with the builds: if you put in the time and effort into something, it's going to grow some serious back muscles and carry you through the whole run - as long as you can keep yourself alive long enough for it to do its work anyway!

But you don't start with a mountain of random junk just thrown at you. Instead, you can unlock new stuff with resources you get by showboating against elite enemies. And if you’re the kind of player who likes a focused, min-maxed build, you can even ban items you don’t like to make your favorites show up more often. Personally, I'm Team Chaos. Screw trying to make the perfect build. I'm here to claw my way to victory over a mountain of mismatched garbage like the loot-obsessed gremlin that I am!

But if you're not into climbing uphill backwards, through the snow, while fire rains upon you, don't worry as Windblown has your back. You can unlock powerful (and permanent) upgrades using gears found throughout the levels. These will give you extra healing potions, access to secrets, ways to recycle gear, and most importantly, bonus challenges to tackle for even more loot! They might look expensive at first, but trust me, you'll be Mr. Moneybags soon enough... or Mr. Gearbags I suppose. Either way, it means you can jump straight into higher difficulties without having to repeatedly bully the weakest bosses before you've earned the 'right' to have fun.

Which brings me to my final quibble - the higher difficulties scale enemy health just a bit too much. They're not unbeatable, even for the skillfully challenged like me, but sometimes it feels like you’re trying to carve through thirty tons of steel with a handful of shurikens. That said, Windblown is still in Early Access so the numbers will probably change with time, but even if they don't, you can always grab a couple of friends and tackle the metal-carving together. As grandma always used to say - being fisted by fist-bots is much better in good company!

Is Windblown worth it?

So after a year of updates, is Windblown worth jumping into? I'd say that's an easy yes, especially if you enjoy challenging, fast-paced roguelites. The few problems it has are fairly easy to ignore when the core experience - that is beating the snot out of weird rat pirates - is this much fun.

But is it better than Dead Cells? Not yet. Dead Cells took years of polish and DLCs to reach its peak, while Windblown is still at the start of its journey. But give it time, and maybe a little bit of luck, and the student might just surpass the master.

[Note]: If you want to make your first runs through Windblown as smooth as a trip through a world-spanning tornado can be, I've made a beginner's guide covering some of the things I wish I knew when I first started.