If you're a fan of pointless award ceremonies that are nothing more than a popularity vote, you'll be glad to hear that Valve is as well! But don't worry, they're not doing this completely straight-faced. I mean, one of the categories is literally called "I Thought This Game Was Cool Before It Won An Award", so what do you even say to that?
As silly as the whole concept is, I still have to admit that I actually went through the 'massive' trouble of filling all of it out. Perhaps its the ridiculous nature of it, and perhaps I'm just insane, but deciding which games to pick has been a surprising degree of fun. Its not every day that you get to ponder which game has made the best use of farm animals after all!
If you feel like joining this parade of madness, also known as the Steam Awards, here are all of the categories:
• The “Test of Time” Award
This award is for the game that is just as good today as the day you first played it. Newer games may come out, but it doesn’t matter… you’ll always come back to play this one.
• The “I'm Not Crying, There's Something In My Eye” Award
Games are fun. But sometimes games become more than that, and touch you in a way you weren’t expecting. This award celebrates the game that blindsided you emotionally. You weren’t expecting to cry. It wasn’t in the plan. But it happened none the less.
• The “Just 5 More Minutes” Award
You have an early day tomorrow. You need to get some sleep, so you’re just going finish one more thing before you decide to tuck in for the night. Just one more. Wait, one more. What’s that you say? It’s 2:30 AM? This award is for the game that keeps you playing late.
• The “Whoooaaaaaaa, dude!” Award
Some games melt your face. Maybe it was a crazy plot twist. Maybe you just got your wisdom teeth removed. Either way, this game BLOWS YOUR MIND.
• The “Villain Most In Need Of A Hug” Award
Some people just need a hug.
• The “Game Within A Game” Award
Kinder Eggs. Peanut Butter Cups. Jelly Donuts. All great things stuffed with other great things. Like a mighty turducken, this award celebrates the best mini game hidden within another game.
• The “I Thought This Game Was Cool Before It Won An Award” Award
This title didn’t have a huge marketing machine behind it, but you found it and loved it. Then you told your friends about it. And they loved it. And now that little game that could is about to win an award… but always remember: you totally found it first.
• The “Best Use Of A Farm Animal” Award
Animals are rad and almost any game is better for including them. However this game used a farm animal in the best way possible.
• The “We Didn’t Think Of Everything” Award
(*name pending Selection Committee Decision) There are as many great ideas for awards as there are great games to play. And so we turn to the Steam Awards Selection Committee to come up with their own category and nominee. Senior members of the Selection Committee will review the write-in entries and create an entirely new category based on the feedback provided.
The Steam Award nominations will close on November 29, when the Autumn Sale ends, while the actual results will be released at some point in December. And in case you're wondering, my farmyard vote went to Escape Goat 2 - a lovely little puzzle-platformer starring... you guessed it, a goat!
P.S. Its cute that Valve things 2:30 AM is considered late when you're stuck playing an intense Civ match.